Opal Koboi and the Artemis deception
by Heiki koboi
Summary: This is just a FF i wanted to do about what would have happened if Artemis kidnapped Opal and NOT Holly. The possibilty drove me mad so i wrote it down. R&R please, :-
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ****Ever wondered what might have happened if Artemis kidnapped Opal Koboi instead of Holly Short? Hmmm….if, like me, your curiosity is getting the best of you, read on. If not, read on anyway. Please review, this is my first FF so don't be toooooo mean. Please note D'Arviten is like adding ing to D'Arvit's meaning) Enjoy! :-D **

**CHAPTER 1—the twisted beginning****. **

Artemis Fowl had images of Elves and other mythical creatures kept popping to mind. To make sure he wasn't going mad he downloaded all information on the internet about fairies; after receiving a copy of the book and spending fourteen hours translating the Gnommish language he was ready for the next stage of his plan. After four months of stakeout they hit the jackpot…

Opal Koboi, a well known criminal, had escaped the LEP. She was at her trail, and then the power went out then-_poof!_ There was no trace. Then again, what else did the LEP expect from the famous Opal Koboi? To sit down and have Beetlejuice? Typically, she stole a shuttle in the dead of night. The easiest escape would be E1, Tara. This would be too detectible; so Opal went to a site on the South-East coast, not easy to access on foot, but great from air. She had packed stolen wings, LEP helmets, and everything she would need. What could go wrong?

Jackpot! After four months! Unfortunately, Artemis hade been mid-sentence:

"It's my mother, Butler," he said, "I'm beginning to wonder if she'll ever—"

Then the proximity light flashed red.

Opal, court up in her-self, landed herself by the ancient Oak. She inhaled a huge deep breath. Then it was sucked out of her lungs. A dart hit her on the back. The deranged Pixie's last thought is censored.

"That was easy, not to sound cliché, but too easy." said butler hurriedly changing the subject while securing the Pixie in an oversized duffel bag.

"Yes," agreed the Irish youth, "we shall keep an eye-out. This one appears to be a pixie. Mind the head; their heads are incredibly delicate because they are so intelligent. Yet another reason to keep an eye out."

**Commander Root's office. Two AM Greenwich mean time. **

Opal had escaped! Commander Julius Root couldn't get over it. Opal Koboi! _The_ very genius Pixie whom had been discovered for plotting against the LEP! Discovered by Foaly who, up until now, had bin very smug at arresting the Pixie. Now he was in a Fowl mood and shuffling uncomfortably on all four hooves. Had it bin any other day he would've commented on Root having his umpteenth cigar. Had it bin any other day he would've past judgment on his Commander's weight. Any other day he would've found away to annoy the Commander. Not today. Root would have been passing comments, but he was chain smoking and doing breathing excises taught by his anger manger. It wasn't going well. His face was bright purple; and the breathing and smoking made him sound like a dragon when he exhaled. Foaly's nervous shuffling made it sound like someone was doing the Irish jig.

"I don't understand it. She… how…?" Foaly's words wouldn't come.

Root wasn't having the same problem, "D'Arvit, Foaly! You D'Arviten Centaur! She clearly got round your pathetic security!"

"That _pathetic security _has kept Haven safe for ten thousand years might I remind you." Foaly said, "I would also like to point out the guards were drunk. And, as we all know, the Commander-that's you Julius- picks the guards. We are also aware that Miss Koboi is a genius. So if through some miracle she broke my security, Miss Opal doesn't posses enough physical strength to beat the guards."

Damn that egoistic Centaur! He was right, again! So Root said the only thing he could, "Shut up pony-boy! Now, tell how we're getting Miss Koboi back!"

"Maybe you should consider being nice to me, Julius; honestly, you'd never figured this out. OK, I laced all the inmates' cells with emoculius polii. A thin indictable coating which should stick all over the inmates' bodies. As we all know, _emoculius polii _is in fairy blood. So a wounded fairy can be smelt by a troll six thousand miles away. So, what was that about a pay rise?"

Root muttered something unprintable under his breath and said, "A Troll? You sound like Cungon! Who allowed an order to let a troll loose?"

Foaly smirked, "Cungon pitched the idea and the council approved it."

Root berated himself. ''You better not screw up, Pony-boy."

**Fowl Manor. Artemis Fowl's study.**

Artemis leaned back on his swivel chair. The Pixie was sleeping in her cell, not yet aware what happened. She, Artemis had to admit, was pretty. She had blonde silky hair and a elegant figure; still a hormonal thirteen year-old boy to find a Evil Pixie attractive wasn't normal. Anyway, Artemis made his way down to bring her round with mirrored specs.

**Fowl manor, Opal koboi's cell.**

Opal awoke; she instantly sat up and saw a smug looking Mud-boy, a black raven haired mud boy. He wore a pair of mirrored sunglasses. _Damn, _thought Opal, _he knows how to beat the mesmerer. An intelligent mud boy. It's a real shame to kill him, oh well…_

'Oh,' said the boy, 'Glad to see you're up.' An Irish voice, Opal groaned, another Irish boy believing in fairy folk hopeful to get three wishes.

'Look,' said Opal, 'I won't give you three wishes or gold. I'll be on my way and I take your apology for accidentally knocking me unconscious.'

Artemis laughed hysterically and Opal didn't look amused. Artemis said,

"You're a funny Pixie. However I'm not a fairy spotting moron. No, I need gold from the ransom fund. And you're not to leave this cell Pixie, and according to the book you must listen to me as you are in my dwelling."

Opal said, "Careful, mud boy, I have enough magic to incinerate you on the spot; stop this book thing. I don't care what textbook you got this from, I am going."

Artemis laughed, "No- if you had enough magic you wouldn't have needed to do the ritual. I'm not on about a text book, the book. Your holy book written in Gnommish, which I am fluent. But no need to worry yourself, girly, you can skip back to mummy and daddy."

Opal said, "You'd be a genius to translate the book. So you are, eh? Well, I'll make you pay. I'll kill your mummy and daddy and make you witness it, then I'll drag you to disappear and kill you.''

Artemis suddenly felt the sting of those words, for the first time he felt he didn't have a mother and father. He said with a hint of sorrow, "My father is dead and my mother is mentally channelled. Besides, I am a genius. Just wait for the LEP to come and get you home."

"You D'Arviten mud boy, I'm running from the LEP for plotting against them. And, I, to am a genius. Far beyond your tiny understanding. You don't know what you're dealing with. Let me go and I'll reconsider killing you."

Artemis scoffed, "if you are a genius, then you know you cannot mesmerize me as I have protected my eyes. Now, be a _good_ girl and just lay in wait for the LEP. Trust me, I'll win this one."

He left, but Opal already had a plan she'd give him a run for his money…

**A/N:**** Okay, that was a bit mean. But I want reviews before I post the next chapter. Trust me, it's beyond crazy. At the risk of sounding clichéd, BRB. **


	2. Chapter 2: Poor mud boy

**A/N: ****Hello! Here it is: the second chapter. Bear in mind that the end of the world is when the planets line up (apparently) Read on, and well, REVIEW!**

**Chapter 2: The Opal Deception. **

Opal Koboi was a genius, there was no doubting it. She figured that the boy would have technology beyond mud people, but not beyond fairies. And God bless the fact Pixies are paranoid. Opal had sewed various gadgets into her body suit. Amongst these tools was an Omni-tool; also a wire which would put the camera on a loop. She creped down the blind spots of the camera (another advantage to being a genius, finding blind spots on cameras) and found a tiny wire stick out the back of the camera. She set the loop to delay ten seconds. Just enough time to lie on the bed. It was done.

She silently used the omni-tool on the door. True, she couldn't leave the house, but she could rob it; and then she planned to put her mini gun to his head and he could come with her.

_This is going to be soooo fun! _Thought Opal, _I'll make him pay for every wasted second. I wonder if I could get a tunnel blue spider. _

She creped up the stairs into the main lobby. Now, where might master Fowl's study be? A grin spread across Opal's pretty face.

**E1, Tara.**

"I wouldn't care if the planets were lining, Foaly, we're getting Opal Koboi!" said Root while smoking a cigar on which the staff had given up counting. The staff was seriously considering what would happen if Root dropped dead there and then. And given the deep purple almost black shade of his face, mixed with how many cigars he'd had, it didn't sound too far fetched.

"Julius, I'm sorry but there's a solar flare. And this system is run by satellite, which I had to place on the sun to stop the mud men finding it, you couldn't have the smarts to send a satellite to somewhere easy like Saturn." Foaly said.

Root chewed his cigar. "If you have enough technology to send a satellite to land on the sun, pony-boy, then surly you have enough to stop the flare."

"I—"

"I wasn't finished, where was I? Oh yes, DON'T CALL ME JULIUS!"

Foaly ignored his comment. "I can't stop nature! And the day you stop calling me 'pony-boy' and insulting my inventions, that is the day I will stop calling you Julius, Julius."

"D'Arvit Foaly! You drive me—"

The tracking computer conveniently buzzed. Root stopped mid sentence.

Foaly spoke at incredible speed. "Yes! Alright, Centaur operations is back online! We're quite near where Miss Koboi is, she's at a place called Fowl manor. She must have hijacked there for some reason. Computer, search 'Fowl' please."

Root muttered to himself. "Sure, be nice to the computer but not your superior officer."

The computer flashed the text as it said it. "The Fowls," said the computer. "Are criminal millionaire geniuses, coming from a long line of Fowls. The most recent are Artemis Fowl, 38, who died in Russia two years ago. Artemis Fowl jr. is already a know criminal, and a boy genius. At only 13 years-old he has an IQ of over 200. But he doesn't tell anyone so don't tell him you know. Harmless to the people, but has knowledge around the same. Given the right equipment he could create Neutrinos."

Foaly said, "Opal must be after his money. That poor boy, we have to get Opal. She's probably holding him captive by now. We must get to Fowl manor, and I recommend a time stop. Then we can coax someone out to give us permission to enter. Get Opal and do some mind-wipes. Simple. We need one LEPrecon, and a retrieval team."

Root gave a smile, which was worrying because when Root smiled, someone was going to be very sad. "Foaly, I know just the person. Call in the retrieval team; I need to make a phone call."

**3 days earlier, Commander Root's Office. **

Holly Short, a LEPrecon, had been called into see Root.

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Of course I did!" snapped Root on his cigar. "Otherwise you'd be a home arranging flowers like a good girly. You know why you're here, Captain, that Troll in Italy. You are a trail, the first girl. I am sorry but that is not a good ensample. We-I-have to let you go. I need your badge."

"Commander! That was the only black mark on my record! You can't let me go!"

"The Troll _and_ Hamburg Captain Short, two black spots for a trail case are too much. Now get out, I hoped better of you."

**Present day, Holly's house.**

Holly was bored out of her mind. What was she meant to do? This was worse than anything Holly had injured. She knew she would never go top side again, and if she did it'd be to Stonehenge: two weeks of pizza songs, pizza, and children, and mud men.

"Whoopee." Said Holly, out loud. "Now I can't even walk down the street without a 'look, that's _Holly Short_, the _failed_ trail'."

The phone rang, and Holly dived from the sofa to answer the phone. When you have nothing to do you make a BIG deal out of the little things,

"Hello?" she said, rapidly.

"Expecting an important phone call, Short?"

Holly's jaw dropped. The voice continued,

"Anyway, where was i? Oh yes," the voice changed to a shout, "Captain Holly Short of LEPrecon, get your rear end to the surface!"

Holly was unable to talk, so the person at the other end of the line hung up.

Holly ran upstairs to her bedroom and got her old LEPrecon suit, which previously had 'void' written across a digipad on the belt now had 'in service' typed in bold letters. Holly held it up and looked at it. She breathed out heavily. She got changed into her uniform and ran down the stairs, and exited the house.

She walked down the street and it wasn't long until a pixie approached her.

"You realize you were a _failed_ trail, don't you? You can't have a week off then come back, Elf."

Holly showed the pixie her belt,

"What's this, then?" Holly said, "Can you not read?"

Holly walked on, not waiting for a response.

She eventually got to the police plaza. Wing Commander Vinyàya was waiting for her.

"Holly Short," she said puzzled. She flicked back her metallic hair. "What are you doing here? This is a police zone."

"Don't act like you don't know what's going on, Vinyàya, you were waiting for me. That digiboard you're holding contains a message from Commander Root, telling you why he wants me. I know this because you should be in a meeting right now, and you wouldn't cancel that for love nor money."

Vinyàya spoke to a clip on her ear. "She's the one, Julius. She has to be."

_Julius?_ Thought Holly, _he flips at that. Vinyàya would_ never _call Root Julius, she's a wing commander for Frond's sake._

"Are you sure?" replied Julius.

"Sure as a Dewer treated Pixie." Vinyàya said, certainly. "Lili could do no better anyway, Julius. Which sounds better anyway? Root and Holly, or Root and Lili? Root and Lili sounds like something by gardener's world."

"This is not about how it will sound in the _Haven's heavenly times_ newspaper, Viney, this is about Opal."

"So what's Holly to you, again?" Vinyàya retorted.

"She's like my daughter, but she's a woman in reconnaissance. A woman in the physical side of the LEP."

"Julius!" Vinyàya snapped. "Your just like my grandfather, old, wrinkly, purple and sexist."

"Your grandfather was purple because he was a rare coloured Sprite, just like your rare eyes. Your whole family's the same."

Vinyàya sighed. "Yes or no?"

Julius rubbed his face, _I'm going to regret this_. "Yes."

Vinyàya hung up.

"Julius?" she asked.

"I'm guessing you want your acorns back, or is that not important?" Vinyàya replied, then continued not letting Holly answer. "Come with me."

Vinyàya lead Holly through corridors until Vinyàya sent her in a room she knew all to well.

"Welcome back," said Foaly. "Let's get you kitted up, Holly Short."

**Fowl manor lobby. **

Some humans are just stupid. In fact, all humans are. Because we are so cynical. Opal could have never gotten out of her cell.

Artemis stretched out and relaxed. He watched Opal sleep on the camera. But if this Pixie was running from the LEP, how was he supposed to get his rightfully earned money from the ransom fund? He leant forward and put his elbows on the desk. He sighed. A new image flicked onto the screen. An Elf, red hair, brown skin, and in an LEP suit. She was using the Mesmer.

"Get on with it," hissed a male gruff voice.

"Your will is mine, human, and you will go to sleep."

Artemis realized the Elf was transmitting on every screen in the house. Artemis locked onto the connection so him and the Elf could talk. Before he pressed 'connect', he translated the Elf's name.

CONNECT.

"Hello, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon." Artemis said.

Holly gasped.

"What did the mud boy say?" asked the gruff male voice, panicked.

"Why were you trying to mesmerise me, surely you are smart enough to realize that mirrored sunglasses stop the Mesmer. I suppose your hear on Miss Koboi's tail."

"Artemis, listen to us. I don't care how Opal got in your house, or how you know Gnommish, or anything. Opal Koboi is dangerous. She's tried to over-through Haven. We can help."

Artemis laughed. "I took the liberty of translating Gnommish and kidnapping Miss Koboi."

"WHAT?" shouted the male voice, coming on screen with Holly.

"Commander Root." said Artemis, smugly.

"Fowl, you better tell us what's going on!" Holly said, hands clenching to fists.

Several things happened.

Opal stormed in.

Root dropped his cigar. Artemis swivelled round on his chair.

Root's dropped cigar set fire to Foaly's equipment, closing the link.

Opal came right up to Artemis's nose.

"Hello mud boy." She grinned, pulling out a gun. "I put a loop on your camera. Now you're in trouble."

**A/N: ****please don't kill me for the cliffe. Feel free to review with 'post next bit NOW' but until then I'm behind the sofa. **


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